Life long journey

It's one of those things I have to remind myself constantly, that this is a life long journey, I didn't gain weight over night, so I won't lose it over night. That sometimes I'll fall off the band wagon and I have to get myself going again. Sooooo since March I've failed a little more, and more each month it seems like. I tell myself "this month I'm going to do better" and that would last maybe for a day. So I'm working on little changes, as I'm getting used to my new work schedule I've decided the first major change is my eating, after all abs are built in the kitchen. So I'm trying to fix meals at home, we were eating out WAY too much! And this is coming from the girl that just a year ago was 99% clean eating! So anyway, I'm working on getting back in that place, but I need to work on recipes that aren't bland and boring so I don't give up again, but they also have to be easy. Next on my list to do is working out, I do have a coworker that wants to start working out with me, so hopefully having a workout buddy will help me stick to it better. 

And we're about to do a little remodeling of my workout room downstairs so hopefully it will be so beautiful I will want to live in there when I'm not at work lol! 

Tonight I made a new Pinterest recipe (with a few tweaks) for dinner tomorrow, I'm hoping Drew will like it. It's pretty healthy, the only change is I need to make homemade cream of something soup or buy organic, but I didn't have organic on hand or the time to make it by scratch, other then that it's all healthy. 

First I just cooked a bunch of chicken tenders in a skillet, seasoning with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, once it was cooked I diced it up and put it back in the skillet. In a pot I cooked some pasta, I cooked a LOT because I have a husband who can eat enough for 50 people lol, I drained that and added it to the chicken, using the same pot I used for the pasta I cooked some chopped up fresh broccoli, but you can use frozen. Once that was cooked I added it to the skillet, I also added a can of cream of celery soup (what I had in my cabinet), a little chicken broth, and some cheese, I stired everything together and added it to a baking dish and sprinkled a little more cheese on top, and baked for about 20 minutes. 

Confession Time

I hate admitting this, I've always loved being the person who has everything together and knows what she is doing, people were finally asking ME weight loss/diet questions, I felt like I had it all together.... But when I started my job in March I slacked off BIG time, I wasn't working out like I should be, my eating went downhill, I had (still have) junk food at work tempting me.... But then I finally changed the battery on my scale this past weekend.... After all if it's dead I can still be in denial right? Well I can't be any longer..... Ugh I hate admitting this but I am up 28lbs since starting my job in March! But you can bet that got my butt into gear and I'm ready to do everything possible to lose weight. 

Right now I'm super sick with a nasty head/chest cold so I'm not feeling up to doing much, but I started making this detox drink I found on Facebook,

I started drinking this Sunday, so far this is the only major "diet" change I've had and are you ready?? I've lost 5.4lbs! I have no idea if it has anything to do with this drink or not, but it tastes good so I'm going to keep on drinking it lol! 

And I am counting down the days until I'm no longer sick and I can workout again! I am going to make myself a regular face in RIPPED at the gym, and when I'm not working at Zumba Toning at the gym, besides that I have all of the equipment at home to workout with. Eating I'm still figuring out, obviously I burned myself out of grilled chicken, quinoa, and veggies 2 times a day, yes it worked but not for the long term. But about 90% of my grocery cart was filled with unprocessed foods and most of the processed foods were for Drew.

Slacking off

I know life happens, but I'm still so disappointed in myself, I've really slacked off recently, I've gained weight/fat and I've lost some of the muscle that I busted my butt to gain. BUT instead of feeling sorry for myself like I did last night - no I did not emotionally eat, I just sat around mad at myself and wanting to cry. I woke up today ready to start over, thank God that even though I've gained weight, I'm not where I was 2 years ago at over 200lbs, that I'm really not as fat as I feel, I'm just not where I was last winter when I was doing so well. So I'm going grocery shopping today, buying healthy foods, very few processed foods, and I'm going to food prep Monday on my day off like I used to do every Sunday. I am going to make a few other things besides chicken, quinoa, and vegetables, that's all I was eating last fall when I lost all of that weight, but it was unrealistic... Yeah I can eat that for the rest of my life but I won't be happy, it's what I'm going to probably eat 85-90% of the time, but I am going to change it up some and hopefully that will work for me. 

I'm going to work my butt off tonight exercising, and start doing that again at least 5 days a week. No more excuses! 

Vacation and new goals.

After tomorrow I go on vacation at work for my birthday, I'm not going to pig out, but I'm not going to worry about what I eat or drink while on vacation, I just want to enjoy myself and relax. 

But once I get home I need to go hardcore on myself again, no making up stupid excuses for myself or become lazy again, I have about 10-15lbs to get back to where I was last fall/winter - and I know it's all in my thighs, butt, and a little in my belly. BUT I'm gaining muscle everywhere so I'm not too worried about it, but I need to work on gaining muscle and losing fat. 

I have some new goal shorts to work towards, I can squeeze into them but need to lose some of my belly before they'll fasten, and I need to lose inches/weight before I can wear them out in public without feeling like a busted can of biscuits lol BUT I'm determined to fit into them soon and feel comfortable and confident in them. 

Bacon, Jalapeño, Turkey Butgers

For dinner tonight I made a recipe from my 21 Day Sugar Detox book and OMG it was amazzzzzing!!! Lol! It was bacon, jalapeño, turkey burgers on veggie pancakes, I don't know why but recently I haven't wanted to eat meat, but these were so good I had to make myself stop at 1 because I was full but wanted to eat another lol! 

Dinner tonight

Dinner tonight is one of my favorite Pinterest finds, it's a brown rice, chicken, and broccoli casserole, with this cheese sauce that I could eat by itself it's so amazing! The only thing I do differently is a little less cheese it make it a little healthier, but either way it's amazing! And even my picky husband eats it lol Tonight I'm making it with fresh broccoli for the first time so we'll see how it turns out! 

Here is the website the recipe is from, definitely check it out if you're looking for a healthy dinner. You can also make it ahead and freeze it if you want. 

http://thedomesticlady.com/2013/02/12/recipe-review-healthy-brown-rice-broccoli-chicken-cheese-bake/

Here's a picture of the broccoli getting mixed into the AMAZING cheese sauce lol 

I can't wait to reach my goal weight!

I've decided that when I reach my goal weight I want to become certified in group fitness and also in exercise nutrition. I really want to have my own bootcamp with a meal plan so I can help others reach their goals.

It breaks my heart when I see other people struggling with their weight and having no idea where to start, I was once there, I still struggle with it sometimes, but it's a life commitment, it's not something that will change over night. 

But now to hurry and get the last of this weight off! I could do it now, but to me I wouldn't take exercise or nutrition advice from someone who still has weight to lose. 

My new job

Well I ended up turning down the job at the preschool (long story lol) and I got hired on at Walgreens working in the cosmetics department. I started that this week and so far I LOVE it! I think I'm catching on pretty well and it's so physical compared to my job as a nanny. But until my schedule is normal (this week is training) my workout is going to be work lol My legs and butt are so sore, and today I was lifting heavy boxes around, along with tons of squatting and walking. After my last job consisted of mostly sitting around and then being unemployed for over a month my body is so sore and tired.... I've ended up falling asleep once I get home without meaning to. Tomorrow's going to be an easy and apparently boring day, I have to do online training at work all day, which everyone said it's loud and distracting doing it online in the office at work. 

I also need to figure out eating while I'm there... I have a 30 minute lunch break but that would pretty much get me home, enough time to kiss Drew hello and then walk out the door.... So then I seem to eat a bigger breakfast, not much for lunch, and then a bigger dinner when I get home. My eating is no longer every 2-3 hours like it used to be, I don't even have time to think about being hungry when at work, but I do have water with me and every chance I get I take a quick drink. 

Jillian Michaels Maximize Your Life Tour

Last night I went with my parents to see Jillian Michaels with her Maximize Your Life Tour. An add for the tour popped up on my fb page 2 months ago and then it hit me that that would be the best birthday present possible for my mom, we all LOVE Jillian Michaels. 

I don't even know where to start with explaining how amazing last night was, things she said would really hit home and make me realize what I need to change in my life, in my weight loss journey, and in my fitness journey. 

My absalute favorite quote from last night was from when she was explaining that your motivation has to come from within, she can't motivate you, I can't motivate anyone, she can support you, I can support you, but your motivation has to come from within, you have to WANT it! And she ended up saying (sorry for the language, she didn't have a filter lol) "Fuck being humble! Kick ass and be awesome!!!" I don't know that just really hit home for me. 

She made me realize that I need to quit beating myself up when I cheat on my diet, she said to eat 80% healthy (organic/clean if you can) and 20% whatever the hell you want. It is a life commitment, I can't expect myself to never eat a double cheeseburger and fries again. 

When it first started her little girl and boy were on stage dancing around and waving at everyone, they were adorable! 

And I just have to say I would kill for her arms, they were absolutely gorgeous!! I don't want to get "huge" or however you want to word it, but I want to definitely be ripped, I want people to look at me and know that I workout without me saying anything or flexing lol! 

One thing thing I learned last night is I need to follow my passion, do what makes me happy, and it made me realize I really do want to get certified in group classes so I can teach a bootcamp eventually, and that I want to get certified in exercise/sport nutrition, I may not be able to be their motivation, but I want to help people who are overweight, out of shape, or just need an exercise/eating plan. I just don't want to do it until I reach my goal, I don't know about anyone else, but even though I'm not overweight I'm not small or fit looking, and for me I wouldn't take advice from anyone unless they looked like the follow their own advice. 

Gluten

Ok, I'll be the first to admit my eating the past couple of weeks hasn't been what it should be.... I want to but haven't been tested yet for a gluten allergy, but I do know that when I cut it out completely from my diet that my stomach feels so much better.... This past week my eating has been alright but I haven't been careful about the gluten and I think my stomach is letting me know, it has been really sore even to press on it and I've been crazy nauseous the past few days - which was a normal thing before I started cutting gluten out, it's been so bad I've had ultrasounds done of my stomach and many doctors appointments and they've said there's nothing wrong.... But once I cut gluten out my stomach feels 100% better, the pain is gone, I'm no longer nauseous. Lately it's been hard to get through a workout without feeling like I need to run upstairs to puke, and I've had to drink several cokes to help with it which I HATE! Cokes are so horrible for you and your diet and anything carbonated makes me bloat and have more of a belly, so I don't even like drinking carbonated water unless I have to. 

Anyway, I have to go to the doctor to drop off some old records today and I need to talk with them about getting tested for a gluten allergy/sensitivity even though from experimenting with my diet I'm pretty sure that's what I have. 

1 1/2 months of lifting results

Here are my results after lifting for a month and a half. I still have lots of work to do, but at least I'm not nearly as flabby as I was. That's me trying to lift for 15-30 minutes a day 3-5 days a week.

I cannot wait to see what my arms will be like in a few more months, especially because one of my friends is coming up with a lifting program designed just for me, so I'm hoping and I'm sure I'll have amazing results from it. 

Progress is progress no matter how small

Somedays I feel like my body isn't changing, I'm not seeing results, and get so frustrated.... And then I take progress pictures and realize how much my body really has changed, the weight didn't show up overnight so I can't expect it to come off overnight, on top of that I'm building muscle because I don't want to just be skinny/fat, I want to be ripped and strong. 

That's 2 1/2 years difference, in the picture I took today I wasn't flexing, I did put some weight onto my arm but the muscle is finally starting to show on it's own. I cannot say how excited I am for my arms to lose that flab and fat. 

My biggest tip and it makes people laugh hearing it from me, is don't be afraid to lift! I used to say I wouldn't lift because I would look "bulky" but that was just my lazy excuse. 

What I eat

That's Ok, first off what I eat to lose weight/stay healthy may not work for everyone.... It took me months of experimenting to figure out what worked for me, but people are always asking me what I eat so I figured I would post it here. 

Every Sunday is meal prep day where I cook my lunches and dinners for the next week so I won't be tempted to cheat. 

Breakfast: pretty boring every morning I have 2 Simple Truth (Kroger's natural/organic brand) frozen gluten free blueberry waffles and a glass of organic whole milk. 

And then for my lunch and dinner I eat the same thing, on Sunday I cook 2-3 packages of Simple Truth chicken tenders with Bragg's seasoning and I'll eat 2-3 pieces with each meal, I'll cook brown rice, quinoa, quinoa/brown rice mixture, sweet potato fries, mashed sweet potatoes, mashed cauliflower, wild rice... Healthy carbs - I stay away from anything white - white potatoes, white flour, white sugar. And I stay away from gluten and wheat as much as possible. And every week I cook 2 bags of frozen veggies that will last me the week (Monday - Friday or Saturday), I do like to roast fresh veggies when I get the chance (just a little extra virgin olive oil drizzled over top, salt, and garlic powder). 

Sometimes to change it up I'll use ground turkey and add taco spices (I try not to use store bought taco seasoning because it's filled with crap), minced garlic and cook it, drain the grease off of it and then just eat it with guacamole (which I could live off of lol), some plain Greek yogurt in place of sour cream, and a little bit of cheddar cheese (this is a treat because I normally only let myself have my glass of milk in the morning and besides that I stay away from dairy), I'll either eat that warmed up in a bowl or in the summer I'll eat it on top of a salad - idk in the winter I'm not a big salad fan, it's just too cold. 

Another meal I make is I'll use sweet ground turkey sausage sautéed with a package of frozen onions with peppers mix (you can find it at Kroger), I drain the grease and add wild rice, brown rice, or quinoa to it (whatever I have on hand that's cooked), and then add a little organic spaghetti sauce and stir it up. 

Snacks I'll eat fruit, veggies, nuts (15-20 nuts), Kind bars, Simple Truth protein bars, or Luna protein bars (the peanut butter chocolate one taste like a Snickers).

I normally eat breakfast at around 6am, morning snack between 8:30 and 9:30 depending on when I'm hungry, lunch at around 11:00 or 11:30, afternoon snack between 1:00 and 3:00 depending on when I have time and when I'm hungry, and dinner around 5:30 or 6:00 If I'm working out after work I'll often have an extra snack and then have dinner later then normal. 

This is my meal prep from this past Sunday. 

One of my favorite snacks is fresh fruit with chia seeds. Btw chia seeds are one of the most amazing things ever!! They give me tons of energy, make me stay full longer because they expand in your stomach and take up more room. And they're pretty cool added to your drink but do get a weird slimey texture that a lot of people don't like. 

And what I drink.... Water! I drink at the least 100oz a day but try for more, and yes you'll have to pee a lot lol I do drink sweet tea a lot - I'm from the south and we love our sweet tea! I've tried making it with stevia and it's pretty good but that is one of the times I'm more willing to use white sugar lol I also drink lots of hot tea. 

And again, this will NOT work for everyone, I just wanted to post it because I get asked all the time what I eat. And no I don't count calories, I'm weird I can weigh myself everyday and I don't mind if my weight goes up a little, but if I go over on my calories even by a couple I'm extremely hard on myself. But when I do put them in I'm at around 1200-1400 calories a day. 

My babies <3

I forgot to post about my babies in my first post, we don't have any human babies yet lol But for our anniversary this month Drew and I went to the humane society and adopted the 2 sweetest puppies, Molly is around 11-12 months old and is part mountain cur, she is so sweet and just wants to please us and for us to love her. Bruiser is around 13 weeks or so and is part lab part red healer and is an absolute mess lol He gets into everything and is in trouble all of the time, but he's so cute you just can't stay mad at him lol 

Hey Blog World

Hey blog world,

I started a blog a few years ago but never really posted on it and I really wanted and needed a place where I can write down my thoughts, talk about clean eating, fitness, dancing, weight loss, etc as much as I want without getting on anyone's nerves lol I figure no ones going to read a blog they aren't interested in.

A little bit about myself, I'm 22 years old and from Kentucky but now living in Tennessee with my husband, I'm currently a nanny for a sweet little girl but starting next month I'm going to start working at a preschool again, I'm going to miss Camille like crazy but I am SO excited to start teaching preschool.

I have been married to an amazing guy for 3 years now and we've only been together for a little over 3 years, we dated for 3 months when he proposed to me, and we got married less than 2 months later because he was deploying in a few months and we wanted a little bit of time together before being separated for 12 months.
I met Drew in June of 2009 but at the time I was dating one of his "battle buddies" (someone he was in the same company with in the army) they both deployed a week after I met Drew and by the time Drew got back the next year I was single again, I still remember I was spending 4th of July weekend at my sisters house at Ft.Campbell and I was doing some laundry and for some reason I was in their house alone when someone knocked on their front door and just walked in, scared me to death! lol And at first I didn't recognize him, the last time I saw him he was a little over weight, pretty pale, and clean shaven, now he was really skinny, had a desert tan from Iraq, and had a beard since he was on leave... He was wearing this funny outfit that didn't match but somehow suited him and his personality... We started talking and joking around, he ended up talking my sister and her husband into the 4 of us going to dinner and a movie and letting him drive me back home to Elizabethtown that evening... That whole why there I just prayed he would ask me for my number.... He didn't! But a couple weeks later it was my birthday and I got this strange happy birthday text from a number I didn't know, turns out he talked my sister into giving him my number. We started hanging out after that and in early September we went on a walk together and he asked me "so are we dating or what??" and I answered back "ummm... I think so, are we?" and we've been together ever since haha!

A little bit about my weight loss journey now...
My weight has always been up and down, I was always a chubby kid/teenager, in high school I did finally get down to the smallest weight and jean size I had ever been, then I graduated (in 2009), got a job, and gained about 30lbs, and then slowly gained another 20lbs... When I got married in 2011 I was over 200lbs, the heaviest I had ever been! When Drew deployed I decided to join a gym and start losing weight but I had NO idea what I was doing and ended up only getting down to 174lbs, then he came home and I gained back all of that plus a little and jokingly called it my "happy weight" because I was eating out all of the time with him... Later in 2012 I tried losing weight a couple of times but never stuck with it, I would rather just eat pizza at least once a week, Chinese every week or two, run out almost every night and buy a candy bar, and drink 3-5 cokes a day...
Finally January 1, 2013 I decided I needed to change and to make it a lifestyle change not just a quick change that would only last a few months, right after deciding that one of my friends on Facebook invited me to a private accountability group on Facebook, I joined and honestly I'm ashamed to say I didn't expect much from it, and I didn't try that hard at first, I bought lots of processed "health" foods that were not actually healthy for me but I thought if I ate them the weight would magically fall off lol In May 2013 I had no idea where to get started or what I was doing really but I decided to start clean eating from May - October I lost a little over 40lbs and I was constantly eating, never hungry. Also later on in May I cut cokes out cold turkey and lost 5 inches from my belly that first week! Now I do clean eating/paleo 95% of the time, and try to only cheat every couple of weeks.
In November I went through some personal problems on top of the upcoming holidays and gained around 10 lbs back, but in January I started over full force and have lost almost all of that again and plan on losing another 30 or so lbs.
When I joined the accountability group last year I was a cardio queen and told myself that lifting weights would make me bulky.... I've slowly added weights in and I love it! I love seeing my arms slowly tone up a little, my back and shoulders looking stronger, my legs are starting to look better than they've ever looked, and I don't look bulky lol!
Oh and the members in the accountability group.... Most I have never met but have slowly become some of my closest friends, who else can truly understand everything I've gone through this past year and pushed me and supported me when I just wanted to quit.

The top left is from high school at 150lbs and I was not very healthy, the top middle is a little over a year later at around 180lbs, the top right is from my wedding day at over 200lbs, bottom left is 11 months later at 174lbs, bottom middle is 9 months later at over 200lbs again, and bottom right is 14 months later back to 150's/160's I weigh more now than I did in the top left picture but I'm in 1-2 jean sizes smaller, so muscle really does take up less room than fat.